Today marks the beginning of the Great Rejection Tour of 2014 for my new book Slaves of the Switchboard of Doom!
My first query letter has set out for glamorous New York City in the kickoff for this highly anticipated season of melancholia and despair. There the query will land on the desk of an agent who’s so far out of my league that the true test of the query is whether she’ll even ask to see the manuscript. If she does ask to read it, I’ll know that it’s a pretty fine query letter. If she doesn’t, well, I’ll have contributed something toward the Postal Service pension fund. And that’s worth doing.
Then, rinse and repeat. Ursula Leguin once wrote that in order to find your level you need to start at the top, and then work your way down. Into the yawning maw of rejection, I mean.
The fact is that I’m working my way through a pretty short list of agents on the principle that the wrong agent is worse than no agent. So it’s only going to take me a few months to get rejected by all of them, and once they’ve done their worst I should have finished the illustrations (you see the illustration for Chapter 15 up above).
Then, phase two: The Forgotten Slush Piles of the Damned.
This entry was posted on Thursday, January 9th, 2014
and was filed under Slaves of the Switchboard of Doom, Works in Progress
There have been 3 Responses »
By redefining my terms I’ve now found myself in the middle of the third draft for Slaves of the Switchboard of Doom. They’re my terms. I’m gonna do what I like with them, and you’re gonna take it… and like it.
I’d planned the second draft like this: two passes through the printed manuscript, resulting in so many penciled corrections that you could barely see the words any more; a line by line edit based on those changes… plus whatever else occured to me at the time; three new short scenes, a bonus expanded scene, and rewrites for two long sequences. Then… a last complete line by line edit.
But by the time I was ready for that final item it seemed like what I had – after all those edits, added scenes, and rewrites – was a second draft; taking another complete pass through the book felt more like a third. So there it is. I redefined what the second draft was and found that I was already working on the third draft. I think this is what they do in Congress.
After this I’ll have to admit that the book in this form is about as good as it’s likely to get. I probably won’t make any further changes until I see some good reasons for them; like, for example, something big is wrong. It’s been hard for me to keep the big picture in my sights due to all the small scale changes I’ve been working on: trees, forest. If there’s a substantial problem with pacing, or if some crucial bit of information is either too subtle or too obvious, or if I completely forgot to plug a plot hole because I can’t see it any more, then that would be a good reason for a fourth draft. (Though I’m still being surprised by the occasional typo that is not a misspelled word; I sure thought I’d caught them all by now.)
Since I continue to distract myself with shiny things you can see a second cover concept at the top of this post; also, I updated the query synopsis and then wrote this alternate one:
The switchboard operators of Retropolis find themselves replaced – due to an efficiency review – by a mysterious system they don’t understand. So Nola Gardner pools their severance pay to hire Dash Kent, freelance adventurer and apartment manager, to find out what’s happened to their jobs.
That ought to be a simple job for Dash, even if his practical experience is limited to heroic rescues (of what he calls entities) from the Priests of the Spider God, in their temple at Marius Crater. But things go sideways once they unmask an insane civil engineer and his horde of black market robots; when a grisly discovery is made, late one night, in a darkened alley; when thousands of cheerfully maniacal scientists burst out of their seclusion in the Experimental Research District; and when, above all, people start shooting. Allied with an unlikely assortment of human and mechanical people, Dash and Nola find themselves in a race to discover the hidden switchboard at the center of a plot that threatens every human person in Retropolis.
Retropolis has found ways to contain its abundance of Mad Science. But in Slaves of the Switchboard of Doom we learn that if a civil engineer should go mad… he knows how to build madness on a scale that’s never been seen before.
Slaves of the Switchboard of Doom (103,000 words, complete) is a light-hearted adventure set in one of our used futures: because nobody else was using it at the moment, and because the author wanted to do for the retro future something like* what Terry Pratchett has done for heroic fantasy.
* No footnotes.
The Pratchett reference might go: that’s a thing that could easily do more harm than good in a query. But I’m so fond of a footnote that reads “No footnotes” that I just can’t change it yet.
One curious thing is that even though the book’s word count has gone up and down, it always ends up in the same place. The line edits most often shortened it, but the new and expanded scenes enlarged it; and finally the much more streamlined opening cut it back down again. But over and over again it’s settled back to just about 103,000 words. Contents may settle during shipping. It just seems like that’s where it wants to be.
This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 11th, 2013
and was filed under Slaves of the Switchboard of Doom, Thrilling Tales of the Downright Unusual, Works in Progress
There have been 3 Responses »
When the switchboard operators of Retropolis are suddenly made redundant after an efficiency review, they find they’ve been replaced by a mysterious system they don’t understand. Nola Gardner pools their severance pay to hire Dash Kent, freelance adventurer and apartment manager, to find out what’s happened to their jobs.
That simple question leads Dash and Nola down the strangest streets of Retropolis, in the Future That Never Was, where robots consider the effectiveness of collective bargaining; where scientific research has been contained in a single neighborhood – by statute – to limit the regrettable side effects of innovation; where the world’s smallest giant robot rumbles toward its destiny with steps that cover an inch or two at a time; and where that question ‘What the heck happened to my job?’ leads ultimately to the Moon and back in an antique rocket that may be past its sell-by date.
Retropolis has found ways to contain its abundance of Mad Science. But in Slaves of the Switchboard of Doom we learn that if a civil engineer goes mad… he knows how to build madness on a scale that’s never been seen before.
Here’s a cover concept and synopsis for Slaves of the Switchboard of Doom, because I guess I just don’t have enough to do while I edit my way through its (now) slightly more than 103,000 words.
That was irony, if you didn’t notice. I have plenty to do. Over the past couple of weeks I’ve made two pencil passes through the printed manuscript, and then applied those edits. That leaves me three short scenes to write (because I wasn’t sure I needed them before) and two large scenes to rewrite; then, after one more complete pass through the book, I hope to have a pretty solid second draft – probably a couple of weeks from now. How solid? Will there be a third draft? Ask me in a couple of weeks.
I try to avoid questions like those by working on cover concepts and the synopsis. I am adept at outmaneuvering my brain.
The synopsis is an interesting exercise but it may also be pretty important. That’s because this time I figure I’ll try shopping the book around to agents and then – who knows? – maybe to traditional publishers. I’d like to see what happens. And a good synopsis, which this may or may not be, is something I’ll need when that day comes.
And then – while the world rejects me repeatedly – I can get to work on the illustrations.
This entry was posted on Monday, December 2nd, 2013
and was filed under Slaves of the Switchboard of Doom, Thrilling Tales of the Downright Unusual, Works in Progress
There have been 3 Responses »
Here we are in March. You can go back outside soon.
If you’re not sure why
Patreon has become so important to me, you can read all about that
here.
Yeah. That was depressing, wasn’t it? So let me try to cheer you up with the rewards my Patrons will receive this month.
March 6 (for Patrons at $5 and above)
Chapter 6 of the first draft for a sequel to
Slaves of the Switchboard of Doom. This final chapter advances the plot – all the pieces are now in place – but this is the point where I set it aside, for reasons I explain in the notes.
March 13 (for Patrons at $15 and above)
Two print-resolution Celtic knotwork borders at greeting card size, with transparent areas inside the borders. If you have image editing software you can place your own picture or message inside the border.
(These are for personal use only.)
March 20 (for Patrons at $10 and above)
Six scanned pages from The Well-Dressed Clairseach, a book of designs and techniques for decorating Celtic harps.
I worked on this in 1986 but never completed it. Only a few pages have been seen before now.
March 27 (for Patrons at $1 and above)
Ten covers, dating from 1981 to 1985, for
Runestaff – the sometimes monthly, sometimes bimonthly newsletter of the Barbarian Freehold Alliance.
I was the Runestaff’s editor through most of those years, and I nearly always drew the covers. You’ll see a selection of the ones I like best.
So, as usual, $15 patrons will see something every week while the rest will see one, two, or three updates.
I hope you enjoy them!
This entry was posted on Saturday, March 2nd, 2019
and was filed under Works in Progress
There has been 1 Response »
Here we are in February. Have a good one!
If you’re not sure why Patreon has become so important to me, you can read all about that here.
Yeah. That was depressing, wasn’t it? So let me try to cheer you up with the rewards my Patrons will receive this month.
February 6 (for Patrons at $5 and above)
W. B. Yeats’ poem The Hosting of the Sidhe with my 1982 illustration for it, from Runestaff #5.
February 13 (for Patrons at $15 and above)
Two print-resolution Celtic knotwork borders at greeting card size, with transparent areas inside the borders. If you have image editing software you can place your own picture or message inside the border.
(These are for personal use only.)
February 20 (for Patrons at $10 and above)
The Chapter 5 first draft from my unfinished sequel to Slaves of the Switchboard of Doom. It’s probably my favorite of the six chapters I wrote.
Don’t tell the other chapters I said so.
February 27 (for Patrons at $1 and above)
The Big Mad Science in Slaves of the Switchboard of Doom examines the way Retropolis has dealt with its abundance of Mad Science. Is there a method behind the madness? Read and decide.
So, as always, $15 patrons will see something every week while the rest will see one, two, or three updates. I hope you enjoy them!
This entry was posted on Friday, February 1st, 2019
and was filed under Works in Progress
There have been no responses »
Happy New Year!
If you’re not sure why Patreon has become so important to me, you can read all about that here.
Yeah. That was depressing, wasn’t it? So let me try to cheer you up with the rewards my Patrons will receive this month.
January 6 (for Patrons at $5 and above)
Chapter 4 of the first draft for a sequel to Slaves of the Switchboard of Doom. Friends, co-workers, and neighbors; also the second thing that broke the book.
January 13th (for Patrons at $15 and above)
Two print-resolution Celtic knotwork borders at greeting card size, with transparent areas inside the borders. If you have image editing software you can place your own picture or message inside the border.
(These are for personal use only.)
January 20th (for Patrons at $10 and above)
In the House of the Cosmic Frog is an illustrated poem from my summer of 1976. It’s difficult to describe. Another “Morno” piece.
Apart from my own distribution of copies it was published the next year in Greg Stafford’s Wyrd #7, published by (or at) Chaosium.
January 27th (for Patrons at $1 and above)
The Western Institute of Muchness is my memory of a strange thing I found while I was walking down the street in 1974 or so. I’ve never forgotten it. I’m so glad it existed.
Let me tell you what it was.
So, as always, $15 patrons will see something every week while the rest will see one, two, or three updates. I hope you enjoy them!
This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 2nd, 2019
and was filed under Works in Progress
There have been no responses »
Happy December!
If you’re not sure why Patreon has become so important to me, you can read all about that here.
Yeah. That was depressing, wasn’t it? So let me try to cheer you up with the rewards my Patrons will receive this month.
December 6 (for Patrons at $5 and above)
Englyn is an illustrated poem from Runestaff #28, in 1984. The title’s unimaginative: this is a poem in the ancient Welsh verse form called “englyn”.
But it always knows who it is.
December 13th (for Patrons at $15 and above)
Two print-resolution Celtic knotwork borders at greeting card size, with transparent areas inside the borders. If you have image editing software you can place your own picture or message inside the border.
(These are for personal use only.)
December 20th (for Patrons at $10 and above)
The first draft for Chapter 3 of a sequel to Slaves of the Switchboard of Doom.
First drafts are things of horror. Let me share my horror with you.
December 27th (for Patrons at $1 and above)
Adventures in Corporate Logic: Electronic Arts, ca. 1991 recalls some of the challenges I faced with a friend of mine while we dealt with a major corporation. We did okay, considering.
So, as always, $15 patrons will see something every week while the rest will see one, two, or three updates. I hope you enjoy them!
This entry was posted on Saturday, December 1st, 2018
and was filed under Works in Progress
There have been 3 Responses »
Happy November!
If you’re not sure why Patreon has become so important to me, you can read all about that here.
Yeah. That was depressing, wasn’t it? So let me try to cheer you up with the rewards my Patrons will receive this month.
November 6 (for Patrons at $5 and above)
Chapter 2 of the first draft for a sequel to Slaves of the Switchboard of Doom. We’ll find out what’s put Dash into such a terrible state, meet some old friends (and some new ones) and learn how Nola’s career is looking up, apart from the explosions.
Note: Because of the way I’m alternating Celtic and fantasy art and writing with their Retropolitan counterparts, $5 backers are only getting three of the six chapters. It’s weird.
November 13th (for Patrons at $15 and above)
Two print-resolution Celtic knotwork borders at greeting card size, with transparent areas inside the borders. If you have image editing software you can place your own picture or message inside the border.
(These are for personal use only.)
November 20th (for Patrons at $10 and above)
The Technique of Theodoris is a short story with a title illustration from around 1978. It’s work I signed with my Morno signature; and I have a few words to say about Morno, too.
November 27th (for Patrons at $1 and above)
The Dive of Death remembers how I was warned about a bar in town and never went there, then warned other people not to go… without actually knowing whether the stories were true. That’s a strange thing to do.
So, as always, $15 patrons will see something every week while the rest will see one, two, or three updates. I hope you enjoy them!
This entry was posted on Thursday, November 1st, 2018
and was filed under Works in Progress
There have been no responses »
Happy October!
If you’re not sure why Patreon has become so important to me, you can read all about that here.
Yeah. That was depressing, wasn’t it? So let me try to cheer you up with the rewards my Patrons will receive this month.
October 6 (for Patrons at $5 and above)
The Selchie is a traditional ballad that I illustrated for Runestaff #29 in 1984. You’ll see the ballad and its illustration at Patreon.
October 13th (for Patrons at $15 and above)
Two print-resolution Celtic knotwork borders at greeting card size, with transparent areas inside the borders.
If you have image editing software you can place your own picture or message inside the border. (These are for personal use only.)
October 20th (for Patrons at $10 and above)
Chapter 1 of the first draft for a sequel to Slaves of the Switchboard of Doom. It’s a first draft, so there are a gazillion things wrong with it.
But the book was going to have two huge problems that weren’t obvious to me when I started. One shows up already in this first chapter.
October 27th (for Patrons at $1 and above)
My 1978 cover for the final issue of Evermist. It may be one of my earliest centaurs. I was going to spend a lot of time with those creatures through the early 80’s.
So, as always, $15 patrons will see something every week while the rest will see one, two, or three updates. I hope you enjoy them!
This entry was posted on Monday, October 1st, 2018
and was filed under Works in Progress
There have been no responses »
Happy September!
So now I’m a one-month veteran at Patreon, and with any luck I know what I’m doing. Here’s what Patrons can expect to see this month:
September 6 (for Patrons at $5 and above)
Fauxliens from Outer Space is a 4700 word short story I wrote early this year. It was vaguely inspired by the Sector General stories of James White. It appears here for the first time.
September 13th (for Patrons at $15 and above)
Two print-resolution Celtic knotwork borders at greeting card size, with transparent areas inside the borders. If you have image editing software you can place your own picture or message inside the border. (These are for personal use only.)
September 20th (for Patrons at $10 and above)
Morno’s Masterpiece is a four-page illustrated story that was published in 1977 in a comic book called JAM: An Album of Fables. It’s not really a comics story, but what can I do about that now?
September 27th (for Patrons at $1 and above)
Robot Indentures in Slaves of the Switchboard of Doom is an article that looks at the way robots are produced and financed in my city of Retropolis, and why I thought that was a way we might handle intelligent mechanical people.
So, as before, $15 patrons will see something every week while the rest will see one, two, or three updates. I hope you enjoy them!
This entry was posted on Saturday, September 1st, 2018
and was filed under Works in Progress
There have been no responses »
