Mabel, the Robot Waitress

Filed under Works in Progress

After a long, long hiatus I’ve just finished up a character I’ve been thinking about for years, though I only started working on her last December. She’s Mabel, a robot waitress.

Mabel’s supposed to remind you of that kind of waitress who’s been on her feet for the last forty-five years and still hasn’t had a foot massage. She’s a little cranky, maybe, and both well- and probably ill-used. She reminds me, in fact, of the hostess at a coffee shop I lived near in Los Angeles’ Silverlake neighborhood. There was fake leopardskin. There was big hair.

Anyhow, Mabel ought properly to be skating around the diner on the right: it’s a scene I started, in fact, when I was still living in that neighborhood and which I haven’t finished yet. Maybe I will, this year, now that I’ve got Mabel ready to inhabit it.

But in the meantime I have another five characters to skin – probably my least favorite task – and I’ll likely try to make some headway there. On the other hand I know that if I try to skin them all my head will explode, so there’s just a chance that I’ll escape to the diner someplace in there, too. The head thing makes such an awful mess.

You Say Mad Scientist… I Say Grumpy Visionary

Filed under Works in Progress

It’s all relative in the Secret Laboratory. And until I finish the Annihilator Ray you can call me what you like – but I still prefer “Demented Iconoclast” or “Grumpy Visionary”. Now, just sit still and let’s get started, shall we?

“Demented Iconoclast”, “Bent Inventor”, and “Lab Loon” are also good, of course. But if you must persist with the Mad Scientist thing, make it DOCTOR Mad Scientist, would you?

This began its life as a T-Shirt design for the Retropolis Transit Authority. Then it achieved sentience, climbed out of the tank, and ate a lab assistant. All in all, quite a successful experiment!

(Also on posters, coffee mugs, greeting cards, and blank books.)

“Finest Quality Airship Ballast” T-Shirts at the Retropolis Transit Authority

Filed under Works in Progress

While the plum job on an airship is – of course – the Captaincy, with that cool hat and the riding crop, there are any number of other important and prestigious positions on the airships of Retropolis.

Cooks, for example. The crews who swarm over the gas bags and make speedy repairs. The stewards who serve travellers and empty the ashtrays in the pigskin-lined smoking compartments. Cabin boys. You get it.

And then, of course, the incredibly important and yet underappreciated job we celebrate here today. Because at some point, just about any airship needs to gain altitude in a big hurry. And there are only so many ways to do that. So here, salute the unsung heroes of the skyways: Ballastmen. Provided at reasonable rates by Geo. Postlethwaite and Sons. No returns; sorry!

This is once again a T-Shirt design for my Retropolis Transit Authority site. Providing uniforms for Ballastmen since, oh, about twenty minutes ago.

The Future – It’s Not What it Used to Be

Filed under Works in Progress

It’s true enough: we were so good at imagining the future, once upon a time, that even though we’ve ended up with some pretty great things our present just can’t compare with the future we thought we were getting. Would you REALLY rather have an Ipod than a jet pack?

But on the other hand, we’ve gradually been freeing ourselves from some of that social baggage whose weight keeps us dragging our heels through the turnstiles of the future. So since we can nearly see our way ahead to the days when the metallic content – or the color – of our outer selves won’t make a pig’s whisker of a difference to anyone, maybe we’re getting a better bargain than it seems we are, when we dwell on that whole flying car thing.

And that’s the dichotomy I like about this picture. On its own shiny and colorful outer self it’s about one thing, but it could just as easily be about another. And whichever way you choose to see it, it’s always “Not what it used to be”.

This is yet another T-shirt design for my Retropolis Transit Authority site, among other things. Like a coffee mug, poster, greeting cards, and blank books.

New Robot Model, with a Turntable Animation

Filed under Computer Graphics, Works in Progress

(Revised, Nov. 29)

I’m finishing up a new robot character that I’m calling the “Myrmidon” – which, depending on your preference, makes him either an ant or an Homeric warrior. Actually I don’t think either of those is quite right, so we may need to add another definition.

At this point I’ve rendered out a turntable animation to make it easier to find the last little tweaks I want to make, after which I need to set him up with a skeleton and skin him. It. Whatever.

Click through if you’d like to see the animation (about 13.5 megabytes).

No! This is NOT Rocket Science

Filed under Works in Progress

This is a natural counterpoint to my “This IS Rocket Science” T-Shirt design (both are available at the Retropolis Transit Authority) – and, taken together, they’re a handy way to make it absolutely clear to anyone which things are, and which are not. Or, if for instance the poster versions are hung in the same room, they can make many people sort of short circuit and start drooling. Which is also pretty interesting to watch.

As always, or at least as, well, often, this one’s also available on mugs, greeting cards, and blank books.

Ferriss Moto-Man: the Retro Robot You Didn’t Know You Needed

Filed under Works in Progress

Let me just dust things off here for a moment… yep, that’s dust. I’ll put it… there.

I know it’s been quiet in here lately, and that’s not completely my own idea, honest. But in spite of everything I’ve just finished a new design for t-shirts, blank books, a poster, greeting cards, and whatnot. Whatnot = mugs and stuff.

This is a Retropolitan advertisement for the Mark II version of Ferriss Moto-Man’s Big Lug robot. He’s a handsome and very durable heavy-duty robot who’s perfect for any task you’ve got, provided that task doesn’t need more brainpower than you’d find in your average Pomeranian. He’s big and he’s useful, but he’s not the brightest bulb on the chain, if you know what I mean. But cheer up – he’s Entirely Safe When Used As Directed. Like me, that is, and probably like you too.

Retropolis Transit Authority Logo Tees

Filed under Works in Progress

Hot off the morning’s airship delivery, a series of t-shirts, long sleeved tees, and baseball jerseys featuring a promotional logo for the Retropolis Transit Authority.

Here the propeller-steered airship of the Future That Never Was rides over the Transit logo, which is oddly reminiscent of the “London Underground” logo – mainly because I was being oddly reminiscent about that, at the time.

And below that, the timeless commuter’s motto of “If You Lived Here, You’d Be Home Now”. I actually saw that on billboards when I was in my teens and couldn’t for the life of me figure out what it was getting at until years later, stuck in the Los Angeles traffic on my way home, it all sort of clicked and finally made sense to me in that special “Thank you, Captain Obvious!” sort of way.

Anyway, go. Look. Browse. Enjoy.

Thrilling Tales: The Tune Up of Terror

Filed under Thrilling Tales of the Downright Unusual, Works in Progress

Change the oil, test the tubes, adjust the positronic circuits… but DON’T, please, use those jumper cables or strap me down to the… wait! Help!

Aw, heck. Not AGAIN.

This dramatic re-enactment of a senseless, preventable crime is meant to remind you how very important it is – even in emergencies – to make certain that any Sanity-Challenged Technophile you consult is fully vetted by the Retropolis Board of Technological Sociopaths. Check their certificates! Get a recommendation!

As with the rest of this series, TUNE UP OF TERROR is available on shirts, posters, greeting cards , coffee mugs, and on blank books.

Because this message is SO IMPORTANT to the Robotic Friendship Devices in your life, and mine.

Yes! In Fact, This IS Rocket Science

Filed under Works in Progress

Whether you’re a propeller head or not; whether you’re a valued research scientist, an engineer, or a mad genius; or even if you’re none of the above – what you do may be, in fact, rocket science. No matter what they say.

Life’s just full of things that aren’t rocket science. Ask anyone. So how to gracefully explain to all and sundry that what you do IS, in fact, rocket science? We’re here to help.

As usual, available as a poster, greeting card, coffee mug, and on T-shirts.