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Venomous Gearflies and Clockroaches: the Durable Natural History of Mademoiselle Porkshanks

Filed under Found on the Web

steampunk jewelryIt is our expectation that the public will be informed and dumbfounded by the remarkable and highly durable constructions of that renowned naturalist-adventurer Mlle. Porkshanks, of the Airship Inexplicable. These clockwork records of heretofore unseen species such as the Clockroach, the Skin Tunneler, and the Venomous Gearfly are presented as the sole surviving record of the Inexplicable‘s latest explorations.

The Inexplicable (as is not unusual) suffered remarkably high mortality rates amongst its crew during that venture and it is not coincidental that the vessel, now briefly returned to port, is currently advertising for additional crew.

It is perhaps because of the highly destructive events of their late adventure that Mlle. Porkshanks has chosen to replicate her discoveries in brass, bronze, and other sundry indestructible materials. This has ensured the viewing public of some insight into the Inexplicable’s new discoveries.

Indeed, fortunate observers may even have the opportunity to purchase one or more of these unique specimens, as Mlle. Porkshanks porkshankshas determined that they should be sold to aid in the refitting of her beleaguered craft. Interested collectors may peruse her current offerings in the Gallerie d’Etsy . We are advised that they make curious jewelry likely to inspire conversation of a cultured type that will prove most agreeable.

In addition, like-minded scholars will be pleased to view Mlle. Porkshanks’ personal photographs at Deviant Art. Here are detailed not only her clockwork jewelry, but various equipment invaluable on her travels, such as the Steam Powered Anti-Aetheric Matter Raygun.

2 responses to “Venomous Gearflies and Clockroaches: the Durable Natural History of Mademoiselle Porkshanks
anonymous says:
December 13th, 2007 at 11:44 pm

Small correction, good sir: It is my understanding that ‘mademoiselle’ refers to a woman of real or notional virginity- and while I am certain that your subject is flattered it is a gross distortion of the truth.

While the respectability of your publication prevents me from mentioning specifics, I shall only note that the Turkish Affair was quite a bit wilder and more sordid than reported in the Times…

Bradley W. Schenck says:
December 14th, 2007 at 12:36 am

Au contraire, mon ami; in fact, had you but gazed pensively at your shoe for even the briefest of moments you would have intuited how incorrect such an idea must be, in view of its French origins. A demoiselle is a young, unmarried woman whose romantic expertise is not specified; a madame, in contrast, is a married woman, and we assume her expertise as a matter of course.

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Down in the Basement. Where it Strains Against its Chains and Turns a Gigantic Wheel of Pain, for all Eternity. Muahahahahaha.